Important

Though you may not yet know his name, Niles “Pop” Goodrich could soon be the most influential writer in Hollywood. For years, he’s been polishing his debut screenplay, and though it’s not exactly what he had in mind when he began the process, he has every confidence the final draft is better than 90% of scripts that see the green light.

“I think I offer a unique perspective,” he says. “No one’s ever seen a movie like mine before.”

The screenplay, a semi-autobiographical tell-all Goodrich describes as “brutally honest,” follows the journey of a struggling writer looking for love and meaning in a cruel, uncaring world. Hounded by the fear of rejection, one man presses on, and takes on society with a laptop and a Starbucks Gold Card.

“You get free refills in the same visit. No one cares if you stay all day.”

Goodrich considers himself a strong feminist, and has crafted the unattainable objects of his protagonist’s affections into people in their own rights. They see straight through his attempts at impressing them, even his charming self-deprecation. “Women are beautiful, and they’re smart,” Goodrich tells me. “They’re able to put their sexual instincts on hold to get done what they need to get done. I wish I could do that.”

Goodrich and interviewer share a meaningful stare. CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM, NIGHT.
Two bodies violently wrestle under the blankets.

INTERVIEWER
Oh Niles, you’re such a good lover!

GOODRICH
I think it’s important to focus on a woman’s pleasure above all else. People tell me I should be a masseuse because I have great hands, but I think my tongue is better.

INTERVIEWER
Oh, Niles!