The Middle – Part 3

King Gorgon is asleep
He can't attack while he's asleep
OH MY GOD
WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME
GET DOWN FROM THERE
HATEFUL CHILD
BEFORE I COME
AND THROW
YOU
DOWN
I raised you better than that
You Are Not a Monkey
repeat after me
I Am Not a Monkey
I Am Not a Monkey
say it
I am not a monkey
and get down from there
I
am
not
We were so young then
back then
virtual reality was still a fantasy
a closet dream that had no place
but in the future
we used to argue
on the nature of
abstraction
and whether dragons were concrete
I was right
and I was still right
but I've decided to change my mind
for you!
and believe that concrete objects
and only those that I can see
in the moment that I see them
The phonebook This lamp
my keys as soon as I
get them out of my pocket
My keys
I do this so I can sleep
without nightmares of resentment
and innocence

Though I admit
I did have an ulterior motive
for calling you
Remember our trip to Montreal?
phenomena of
hero worship
experience
and each
and every
a monkey
I Am Not
what I wanted to ask
was whether you've ever fallen
a great distance
and had your fall interrupted
by a patient and strong friend
who catches you
and spins you around
and sets you gently on the ground
I've thought about it a great deal
and I have a terrible urge
to catch you
is that sick
is that wrong
just the thought of you falling
and I imagine myself underneath
waiting with open arms
hiding under a tree
and moments before you strike
the ground
I pounce and wrap my arms
around your thighs
and The Middle of your torso
and though your weight
and your momentum
threaten to send us both to the ground
your force and I would struggle
and I would win
and throw you up
again
A Monkey

The 1000 de La Gauchetière
is the tallest skyscraper
in the world
in the city of Montreal
It is as tall as any building
in the world
in the city of Montreal
is allowed to be

NO BUILDING CAN BE TALLER THAN A MOUNTAIN

-Official Ordinance, The World

Toronto’s CN Tower
is nearly Two and Three-Quarter times
the height of the 1000 de La Gauchetière
and has appeared in almost Four Times
as many movies

there was big trouble
in the little city
Nero had a chill
the worst feeling he knew
and he wanted none of us
to be cold like him
Mrs. O'Leary's shrine was set
with no room for the cow
The Invaders of Alexandra
had overdue parchments
and could not 
afford to pay the fines
We Don't Have Time
to play these games
How Can You Expect Me
to applaud and otherwise
Show Support
when you treat our relationship
like we are an
Intercollegiate Sporting Club
that only plays night games
her voice was like the wind
and when she spoke
I had a terrible urge
to put on a coat
and shiver
and dangle tiny pinwheels
attached to the tops
of tiny planes
from the tips
of her nose

A Great Effort from one of our most Promising Young Writers!

I don’t think I understood it!

A work so great that it destroys literature as a concept, including itself!

When time machines are invented, someone will kill Hitler, others will save Jesus and Socrates and Gandhi and Lincoln and King and Kennedy maybe Lennon, and someone will prevent this book from leaving Lomax’s troubled mind!

Gripping!
Uplifting!
A tremendous introductory work!

Huge!
Monstrous!
Tremendous!

There is something in this book that is and will be fundamental to Western Thought!

Future generations will curse Mr. Lomax’s name […] if they retain the ability to use and process language!

It was fine! I’ve read worse!

I don’t think I understood it!

I really didn’t understand!

Let’s go back to Canada
Let’s go back and see
the things we didn’t see
in Canada
and maybe we can talk
about the things we see
in Canada
and fall for each other again

Absolutely Ambitious!

I didn’t enjoy it and I believe that it will taint my view of books in general for the remainder of my life!

A fabulous work! but nothing good will come from it!

Don’t push me.

I actually didn’t read it, but my opinion is still valid!

Can I talk to you?
Ha ha you took my nose
that’s really cute
Can I talk to you?
Can I be serious with you
for the first time in our lives?
Can I talk to you
about my feelings?
Can I open
my heart
like a book
that no one’s ever read?

all it says is
I FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE
in bold capital underlined letters
I'm sorry
I didn't mean it
So am I
and you did

she squeezed him gently

once she had enough
to fill her bloodstream
she knew empathies

We Are Lovers
not teammates
We Should Love
not play catch
please stop calling plays
please stop flipping coins
to determine who starts
and if you
Slap My Ass
One More Time
I don't care how good I was
I will tackle you
more on this story
at eleven
A ten-year-old girl's pet cat
met its end today
Soapsuds, a nine-year-old tabby
was found lifeless
in the First
Unilateral Church parking lot
late last night
The details of Soapsuds' death
are currently unknown
but from the appearance
investigators believe
that the cat's death was related
to an act of vandalism
gone wrong
I met you once
when we were young
before we knew our names
I told you once
that we were young
and you told me the same
we didn’t have that much to say
and this much hasn't changed
I'm still afraid to raise my voice
and you've become deranged
I am the only man who has ever been alone.
This gives me comfort in my heart
and in my hipbone.
Because I'm so self-made and so hand-sewn,
I trembled when I
heard a slide trombone.
I tremble when I
hear the telephone
I tremble when
I am not my own
keystone
On the Greyhound bus
from South Carolina
I sat next to an older woman
in a purple dress
and there I fell asleep
she blew in my ear
and grabbed my thigh
and whispered to me in cigarette breath
You'll Never Know you'll never know
Touch Me
Hold Me in Your Arms
Tell Me I'm Your Own
Say It Like You Mean It
Put Some Feeling into It
A Little Elbow Grease
Come on Nancy Boy
You Think Charlie's
Going to Wait for You
Charlie's Busy
Charlie's Got a Job with a 401k

no one ever pays attention to me
it is because I speak softly
but I have to speak softly
because I hate the sound of my own voice
I am not ashamed

I am not afraid

I am not ineffectual

I am nothing

but compassionate

These are the dangers of the forest:
You cannot go into the forest
because there's wolves

That’s the dangers of the forest.

Take me back the years
and sing a song
that reverts me to a child!
Teach me the value of sharing!
Show me the value of a dollar!
Dress me like an Action Figure!
Everything I really needed to know
I want to learn in Kindergarten!

I should probably tell you
Actually maybe I won’t
I mean it’s not something
I’ve ever done
Actually I think it’s why I’m so nice
I’m nice right
I try really hard to be
Nice I mean
It’s a secret

You've done well to get this far
but there's one thing you didn't count on
Remember that milkshake we gave you yesterday
with the mint and the chocolate
proportioned
just the way you like it
Would You Like Another?
You cannot resist can you:
Norton! The milkshake!
As you continue to sip this delicate blend
of the finest Paraguayan mint leaves
blended with the most pungent chocolate
Europe and Brazil have to offer
all blended with sweet Jersey milk
from heartland Wisconsin
and a delicate blend of medicinal herbs
that encourage a more than virile sense of well-being
you will fail to notice the ticking of the timebomb at your feet
and you will only notice the explosion
after it's too late
and you are not paying enough attention to me now
to know that you need to cut the red wire

always the red never the black

I'm telling you all this to increase the irony of your predicament
as you manage to forget the information most vital to you
in this precarious situation
as you meet your end
and leave us free to abuse your loved ones
in ways too gruesome to repeat
but rather fun to actually perform
if I do say so myself
but more on that later

sometimes the black, occasionally the red

For now
Enjoy your milkshake.
hold me
hold me
hold me
hold me
hold me
don't walk
take cover
That's no donkey!
That's my wife!

KING GORGON sleeps.
He cannot attack while he sleeps.

I KNOW THAT WE HAVE NEVER SPOKEN AND I HAVE NEVER SPOKEN
TO YOU AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM 
OR WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING OR HOW I KNOW WHO YOU ARE 
BUT I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD TELL YOU
THAT I THINK YOU ARE REAL PRETTY 
YOU ARE REAL PRETTY HAVE A GOOD DAY 
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :_) "_
Our production is superior to the one in London
because we have a real statue
they could not afford a statue in London
because England is still in the old money
whereas we are in the Nouveau Money
and can thus afford pretty cars and houses
and luxury items
but the point is that the statue is central
to the plot of the story
in fact
the statue is the plot of the story
in fact
the statue is the play
not being able to afford the statue
is like not being able to afford actors
but I hear that in their production
it is difficult to tell the difference
Get it? It was a joke
The joke was that the man was arrogant
I was joking
the man wasn't really arrogant
There's actually quite a bit of doubt
that the man existed in the first place
It's just a joke
It's not funny
but it's a joke
It's just a joke you see
there is nothing to worry about
there is nothing to worry about
In the beginning of each episode of the Twilight Zone
I entered a dimension not of sight, but of mind
the man in the suit (Rod Serling) told me so
and I could tell
because there are no spirals
in my usual dimension
Occasionally there is irony